Living a pagan life—whatever form that takes for you—can be deeply grounding, powerful, and full of meaning. But when your surroundings don’t reflect or understand your beliefs, it can also feel heavy. Whether you're open about your practice or keep it close to your chest, navigating uncomfortable reactions, awkward conversations, or outright disapproval can wear you down over time.
Some people practice out loud, some more quietly, and many of us are somewhere in between. Regardless of how visible your path is, you deserve to feel safe and rooted in who you are. That feeling of spiritual and emotional safety isn’t something the world will always hand to you—it’s something we have to create and maintain for ourselves.
Sometimes the challenges are subtle—a weird comment from a coworker, a partner who dismisses your altar as just a decoration, or a friend who changes the subject when you mention a sabbat. And other times, the discomfort hits harder: a family member who mocks your beliefs, people who assume you're dangerous or naive, or an environment that feels quietly hostile to anything outside the norm. And while you can’t always control what other people say or do, you can control how you care for yourself through it.
One of the easiest ways to stay grounded is to come back to your breath. Before responding to something that stings—or even just when you feel a little off—take a slow breath in, then out. Let your body know you're safe. A simple phrase, even just in your head, can be a powerful anchor: “I’m allowed to be here. I’m allowed to be me.”
And if you need something a bit stronger, imagine a soft bubble of energy forming around you. It’s not about pushing anyone away, just keeping their energy from pushing into you. Maybe you wear a protective charm, carry a favorite stone, or keep rosemary in your pocket—whatever helps you feel like you’re claiming your space.
There are also times when people aren’t being mean, just... distant. Maybe they don’t get your practice, but they’re not trying to argue either. In those moments, instead of trying to explain every detail, it can help to talk about the parts that feel universal: your connection to nature, the way intention helps you stay centered, how the seasons remind you that things come and go. You might even invite them to share something with you - a quiet walk, a moment of reflection, or just planting something together. You don’t need full understanding to build connection.
And then there are moments when connection just isn’t going to happen. Maybe someone repeatedly disrespects your beliefs or treats your practice like a joke. When that happens, your job isn’t to convince them of your worth. Your job is to protect your peace. You can keep certain things private without it meaning you’re hiding. You can say no to conversations that drain you. You can step away without guilt. That’s not avoidance - that’s sacred spacekeeping.
If the person causing tension is someone close to you, like a partner, that can be especially tough. When your own home doesn’t feel like a place where your spirit can breathe, the impact runs deep. It helps to speak honestly—not to convince, but to be seen. “This isn’t a phase. It helps me feel like myself.” You’re not asking for permission. You’re asking for room to exist. And if you still don’t get that room, it’s okay to create it for yourself anyway. You’re allowed to keep growing, even if someone else doesn’t understand what you’re rooted in.
None of this is really about being “out” or private. It’s about being whole. Whether your altar is out in the open or tucked in a drawer, whether you celebrate in circle or on your own, your path is still real. You don’t have to be loud to be powerful. You don’t have to be visible to be valid. The truth is, the world might never fully understand you. But the wind still hears you, the moon still rises; The trees still welcome you like they always have. That’s the kind of witness that matters most.
So take your breath. Light your candle. Show up for yourself.
Putting It Into Practice
Holding space for yourself doesn’t just happen in the hard moments. It’s something you can build into your everyday life—small rituals that keep you feeling rooted, steady, and fully you, even when things around you get loud.
- Candle Check-Ins
- Once a week (or more if you’d like), light a candle and say your name out loud. Name one thing you’re proud of yourself for—big or small. Let the flame witness it. Let yourself feel it.
- Grounding Touch in the Morning
- Start your day by placing your hands on your heart or belly and saying: “This is my life. This is my path. I’m allowed to take up space.” No one has to hear it but you.
- Shadow Bowl Release
- Keep a small bowl or jar near your altar. When doubt or old fear creeps up, write it down and drop it in. On the dark moon, burn or bury the contents with the words: “This doesn’t belong to me anymore.”
- Ancestor Walks
- Take a familiar walk—around your block, through the woods, even just down your driveway—and imagine those who came before you walking with you. Say thank you. Feel their presence in your steps.
- Anointing for Protection
- Mix oil with scents or herbs that help you feel strong (like cedar, clove, or frankincense). Dab it at your temples or wrists and say: “I move through the world protected and whole.”
- Sacred Pause Before “Yes”
- When someone asks for your time or energy, pause first. Ask yourself: “Will this feed me or deplete me?” Let your yes be intentional. Let your no be a boundary of protection.
You don’t have to be fearless to be steady. You don’t have to be loud to be real. You just have to keep showing up for yourself, even when it’s hard—and especially when it matters.
Note: The resources around the spiritual and scientific aspects of paganism are vast, numerous, and various beyond what I have included throughout my blog posts. Science is still advancing, and there are many different "flavors" of paganism. The beliefs shared in this blog are mine and being shared as one perspective, and I do not expect it to resonate with everyone or believe that this is the "only correct way" to be a pagan.
Create Your Own Website With Webador